NEDA Week 2020 // A Reflection on My Experience

trigger warning: eating disorders/body dysmorphia/excessive exercise 👉🏼 Several times in my life I have embarked on a “lifestyle change” with the hopes of finally feeling worthy. Each of those times, I’d get more and more addicted to the control I had, so where exercise should have been done for joy, and eating done for nutrition and enjoyment... instead everything was done from a place of hate, disgust, and punishment.
There were times I would exercise 3 hours a day. I’d only eat protein shakes for most of my meals and I’d log EVERYTHING. I’d weigh morning and night, measure every body part daily and keep the measurements at my bedside in a notebook.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughFebruary 28, 2020eating disorder, eating disorder recovery, body positivity, self love, postpartum, depression, exerciseComment

Reflecting on 2019

SCARY. That’s what 2019 was for me. I took the fear that’s been bottled up within me for so long, and I embraced it and turned it into something else. I opened my heart up. I took risks. I made so many meaningful connections within this community. I finally looked at my postpartum belly (thanks to @meg.boggs and the #this_is_postpartum movement)

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughDecember 31, 2019New Years, 2019, postpartum, this is postpartum, body positivity, self image, mentalhealthComment

World Mental Health Day 2019

It’s #worldmentalhealthday 🖤 I’ve always been stubborn, and I’ve always been a hustler. I thrive off of productivity and accomplishments - most of the time. But honestly? There are days when I can barely get out of bed. No one knows it, not even my family... mostly because I have kids and that’s quite frankly not an option.
So I push through. And I make it happen on the bad days. And it’s exhausting.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughOctober 10, 2019mental health, worldmentalhealthday, depression, anxiety, postpartum, mom lifeComment

My Postpartum Stomach // #this_is_postpartum

This is one of those times where I just have something so strong on my heart today and feel the need to share. I’m not sure who needs to read this but... This is the only picture I have of my bare pregnant belly ever, and I snapped it a few days before I gave birth to Pj.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughOctober 4, 2019postpartum, stomach, this is postpartum, mom life, body image, body acceptance, body positivityComment

My Stomach Story

For as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted was a flat stomach.⁣
I avoided pool parties as early as middle school. I would spend the evenings secretly doing workout videos in my bedroom.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughSeptember 25, 2019stomach, body acceptance, body image, postpartum journey, postpartum, this is postpartum, self love, mom lifeComment

You're More Than a Size

Hey girl, ever see something cute and think “nah, my body isn’t in shape enough for that yet.” 😳 I used to do that too. In fact, I used to be the QUEEN of that type of behavior.
Here’s the thing I finally realized though. Body love, confidence and acceptance isn’t about how much you weigh or what size you wear.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughJune 15, 2019body image, body positivity, plus size, plus size swimwear, swimswear, summer, postpartum, bikiniComment

YOU ARE ENOUGH // #this_is_postpartum

#this_is_postpartum Hey, you. I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and feel disgusted, worthless, broken. To cry for no reason. To feel too proud to ask for help. To have unexplainable feelings of hopelessness, anger, and resentment. To have all of your expectations of what you think motherhood is going to be like ripped apart.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughJune 10, 2019ppd, ppa, this is postpartum, postpartumComment

Postpartum Mental Health // #mentalhealthawarenessweek

I finally get it. I finally know now that I don’t have to live in a constant state of chaos, feeling like I’m drowning all the time. I finally know that I’ll be able to look back at this time with peace and happiness, knowing I was able to enjoy these times with my kids.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughMay 17, 2019mom life, mental health, depression, postpartum, anxietyComment

Exercising Postpartum // #nobeforeandafters

oday was the first time I stepped foot into a gym in over a year. Today, when I walked through those doors, I loved my current self. I didn’t walk in to that building ashamed of my appearance, feeling like I’d done something wrong. Instead, I went because I know it makes me a better person.
I saw the workout equipment, took a deep breath, and went for it. The entire time I worked out I had to tell myself “this is for your mental health” instead of “gotta lose the baby weight.”

BUT WHY MOMMY, WHY?! // I'll tell you why...

JUMPSUIT | SHOES | BANGLES | CUFF BRACELETS | HOOPS

This post is sponsored by Lane Bryant, and all opinions are my own. I only work with brands I believe in and trust, so thank you for your support.

BUT WHY, MOMMY?! WHY?!

Ahh, yes, the unmistakable question coming from my three-year old’s mouth every single hour of every single day. Sound familiar?!

CHD Awareness // #thesisterhoodchat

Welcome to #thesisterhoodchat! This is a weekly chat loop hosted by @thegarciadiaries and @katiemcrenshaw. To participate, simply follow the ladies in the group and interact on the themed conversation of the week. This week, our topic is: Being a mother to a child with a diagnosed medical condition.
Our story 👉🏼 I had a normal pregnancy and a great delivery with our oldest daughter, Emaline. But when they put her on my chest I immediately knew something was wrong.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughFebruary 1, 2019emaline, postpartum, shones complex, EMMIE, chdawarenessComment

SELF LOVE UPDATE AFTER BABY #2

It’s been 2.5 months since I had Pearl Jo, and I’m finally starting to feel kind of normal. With that also comes the normal anxiety and the self love/body image struggles. To be honest, it really doesn’t have anything to do with having children. I mean… SURE. I’ve gone through the pain and heartache of losing the body that you thought you knew so well to pregnancy and having to adjust not once, but twice to a new and different body.

But these issues have been with me since I was young and long before having children.

Dear 2019 Body

Dear 2019 body,
Maybe I’ll fit into these clothes again this year, and maybe I won’t. Either way... I promise to love you just the same as I did a year ago when this photo was taken.
I promise not to spend the entire month of January stressed about starting a new diet or changing you in any way.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughJanuary 1, 2019New years, plus size, health, postpartum, self care, self love, mombodComment

Pearl Update // 11 Days Postpartum

Promised to be transparent with you all and so here we go: This is way harder than I could’ve imagined. This week, I’ve been waking up in tears a lot. In many ways, I’m experiencing a lot of things for the first time with this baby and I’m loving every minute of it.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughNovember 7, 2018postpartum, this is postpartum, pearl, baby pearl, pearl jo, kids, postpartum journeyComment

LETTING GO + ppa/ppd

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughOctober 10, 2018ppd, ppa, postpartumComment

THE TRIMESTER THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

If you've been following me for awhile, you may have noticed that back in January/February, I was pumpin' out content for the blog on the regular. My Instagram posts were consistent and I was starting to work with some big brands. Cut to - early March, and suddenly I went MIA. I started resurfacing in April/May, but let me assure you - that was all a front. It wasn't until June that I felt normal again. Here's what was really going on during that time.

LIFESTYLEAshley DoroughAugust 6, 2018postpartum, pregnancy, anxiety, depressionComment