trigger warning: eating disorders/body dysmorphia/excessive exercise 👉🏼 Several times in my life I have embarked on a “lifestyle change” with the hopes of finally feeling worthy. Each of those times, I’d get more and more addicted to the control I had, so where exercise should have been done for joy, and eating done for nutrition and enjoyment... instead everything was done from a place of hate, disgust, and punishment.
There were times I would exercise 3 hours a day. I’d only eat protein shakes for most of my meals and I’d log EVERYTHING. I’d weigh morning and night, measure every body part daily and keep the measurements at my bedside in a notebook.