Hi, My Name's Ashley

Hi, my names Ashley and my stomach is fat. There’s never been a time in my life where I wasn’t self conscious about my belly. Even 100 lbs ago, when body dysmorphia ruled my life, it was something I was ashamed of.

So when I’m having a day like today where I get annoyed that it’s there. Or that I have to work extra hard to bend over. Or that my pants are fitting a little tight.

I try and remember that this stomach has never defined who I am, or how smart I am, how beautiful I am, how worthy I am.

I picture my younger 6th grade self, the only one in gym class who weighed in over 140 lbs... and I tell that little girl that just because she weighs that doesn’t mean she can’t do the things everyone else is doing. I tell her she’s strong. She’s smart. And she’s so, so SO worthy.

I remind myself that I’m healing from the inside out. I’m learning to eat like a normal human being again. I’m taking the right meds for my mental health. I’m letting go, sometimes hesitantly, of what this means for how my body is going to look. I’ve come such a long way, and yet still... sometimes those thoughts creep in.

It’s how we deal with those thoughts that matter.

PS, yes that’s my messy house #wecantallbewinners 😉