JUNE Q&A // strapless bras, workout wear, intimacy (gasp!) +MORE
This month, I’m dishing about our personal life, undergarments/bras, our living situation and SO much more - this is a compilation of FAQ’s via email and Instagram!
Q: What is the best strapless bra for a plus size woman?
A: I personally love this Wacoal one. I have worn it for YEARS and used to buy it for clients/actresses as well. It gives you great support and the shape of the cup is perfect. I cannot stand when the cup of a strapless bra looks pointy!!! Like, what’s the deal with that anyway? Ha! It comes in a large variety of sizes.
**BRA TIP: buy some extenders like these and get extra wear if you’ve outgrown your bras or if you’re pregnant. If you’re like me, I cannot stand a tight fitting bra around my back.
Q: What is the best plus size workout wear?
A: There are 3 brands that I’ve been extremely happy with this year. 1, GIRLFRIEND COLLECTIVE - these are the softest pants I have ever put on in my life. I wear a 2x on bottom and top. They are size inclusive, made for everyone. 2, LANE BRYANT - I did a campaign with them in January with their LIVI active line because I genuinely love the quality. I even bought my mom some of it (she is super picky) and she loves what I got her. And finally, 3, FABLETICS - yes, another brand who has sponsored me but I’ve been a customer of Fabletics since 2014. I have always been impressed with the fabric of the pants and they don’t fall down. I am a 2X on bottom and top.
Q: Snack ideas for working at home?
A: I am a hummus and pita chip kinda girl. Also, iced coffee all day erryday. Oh, and sometimes raspberries. Haha…
Q: What does your husband do?
A: He is a Visual Effects Producer for a studio here in Atlanta.
Q: Do you guys want anymore kids?
A: We do, but we don’t. Pretty sure we don’t. If we go for a third it will be a big surprise.
Q: Best advice to bloggers?
A: Don’t take yourself too seriously. I guess this is advice to EVERYONE, haha. But really - know your worth and value, know you can say NO to things, be careful of who you let your guard down to… protect your space, be proud of your work.
Q: Do you workout?
A: I started working out about 12 years ago and it really has helped me mentally with anxiety in depression. However, I’m realizing now I’ve fluctuated through many times of obsessive working out and many times of not doing any physical activity. And I was 100% doing it to get the body I thought I had to have. I just slowly started working out again this year, after taking a year long hiatus. I have been working really hard on my brain and how I think about myself, as well as how I treat myself. This time I don’t care what it does to my body from an image standpoint, I just really am aiming for self care and mental health. It’s taken me a long time to get here mentally.
Q: Best spray tan?
A: I get sprayed by a mobile tanning service called Southern Glow on the Go - mention my name for a discount! Also check out these posts for spray tan tips. As far as DIY tan at home goes.. I haven’t done this in years but when I did do it, I loved St. Tropez.
Q: Did you have any problems trying to conceive?
A: Fortunately, we did not have any issues getting pregnant. I have had several miscarriages and have 4 babies in Heaven. I am beyond thankful for the 2 here on Earth with me. I do know that there are a lot of women out there sharing their fertility stories, like my friend Mel who wrote this article - she shares a lot of her journey, I encourage you to find women going through the same things as you… it helps a lot.
Q: Do you use any photo editing apps?
A: I try to mix my content between iphone pics, selfies, and professional photos. When I take my photos on my phone I use the Lightroom app with presets from Marina McAvoy or The Digigirls and then I edit them from there. I don’t use retouching or any of those facetune situations.
Q: Best beach coverups?
A: Honestly, I really love COVER2COVER - here at Target. They are BOGO 50% OFF right now too!!
Q: Best advice about friendship?
A: If the people in your life are the source of anxiety & stress instead of lifting you up - move on.
Q: Best mommy & me brands for plus size mamas?
Q: Best clothing for Plus size maternity?
Q: What do you wear underneath your dresses in the summer?
Q: What about thigh-chafe though?
A: MegaBabe THIGH RESCUE is my JAM. I started using it last summer and it seriously is a game changer. It lasts a long time too… I haven’t had to buy a new one yet.
Q: What do you like best about living in Atlanta?
A: Honestly, we are here because of the film industry and our family. I have major wanderlust and am always up for a new life experience, so if our livelihood wasn’t rooted here, we probably would live somewhere else. That being said, we do love it here. People are friendly, it’s easy to get anywhere, and cost of living is decent. I wish we were closer to the beach!
Q: I just had a baby and it hasn’t been fun yet. When does this get better?
A: Oh mama. I know it’s so hard. Trust me… it keeps getting better and better. The older Emmie gets, the more fun it gets. I always think “How can she get funnier?” and then it happens! Try to give yourself a break, ask for help as much as you need to. Remember… you don’t want to look back on this time thinking how awful it was. So whatever you can do to try to create good memories - if that means getting help to get you through this time then do it.
Q: What was the turning point for you to finally accepting your body as it is?
A: When I had my daughter, I realized I would never ever ever want her to feel the same way I have felt my whole life. While I realize I can’t force her to love her body, I can certainly be a better example instead of always ripping myself to shreds.
That’s how it started. Then I started my blog, and started seeing other women being brave. I have been #influenced, haha! I stopped following fitness accounts and body obsessed people. I started following women who have the same goals as me. When you don’t feel like you’re alone, it’s a heck of a lot easier. It’s still something I struggle with openly… but so happy to share my journey.
Q: How did you meet your husband?
A: We met our senior year of college at the University of Georgia. We were both film/tv production majors! We started dating then and got to graduate together.
Q: Favorite nursing bras?
Q: Has it been hard going from 1 child to 2?
A: I plead the Fifth…. ;) No, seriously. SO HARD. But worth it.
Q: Did you breastfeed?
A: I wanted to, dreamed of it with Emmie. But her medical complications halted that. I wrote more about it on Instagram here. With Pj, that child just wanted to eat no matter how. So I breastfed and formula fed. I eventually stopped producing enough so we stopped. It’s hard AF for most women.
Q: Do you struggle with intimacy/feeling sexy with your husband after having 2 kids?
A: Absolutely. I stopped letting my mind takeover that part of me though. I think men in general find confidence the sexiest feature about women, so I try to focus on that and channel that attitude.
Q: What are your family’s religion/spiritual views?
A: We are a Christian family, and I was raised that way as well. I feel very strongly about the fact that unfortunately not all people who claim to be Christians treat others like Jesus would have. It is disheartening, and it is definitely why I questioned my faith in my younger years.
Q: Tips on raising body positive daughters?
A: This is a hard one, because I am learning how to do this too. Right now, I’ve just been watching what I say and how I treat myself. We don’t use the word “diet” in our house and we generally don’t talk about bodies if it’s pertaining to how they look. Sometimes, I’ll tell Emmie she looks really strong. I don’t know… still working on this!! Very important topic.
Q: Did you have any size/weight related complications during your pregnancies?
A: No, actually. My second pregnancy, my docs never said a word about weight. Because my health was great and my numbers were great. But I gained 75+lbs with both.
Q: How do you do it all? Career, kids, relationships?
A: I am an Enneagram type 7, and a true gemini, so I tend to collect friends and projects on the daily. I have had to take a step back from a lot of friendships because I realized they didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about them. It sucks, it hurts, but I have too much on the line now to worry about trying to make plans with people who wouldn’t do the same for me. I am very careful now about who I choose to spend my time and energy on, and it has done wonders for my life.
As far as working full time and being a mama full time… I feel like I have seriously slacked on the blogging job to be honest. I finally hired a manager who has been helping me with the business sides of things which is a huge relief, but I am not really able to create what I really want to create in my spare time right now. I am making it work, and not getting stressed about it like I used to because I finally started remembering why I started this business. Besides it being my passion project to empower other women… but also because I want to be able to spend time raising my kids. So at the end of the day, if I am late on a deadline - I’m sorry, I was dealing with a level 5 toddler tantrum and a baby that won’t sleep, and I don’t want to half ass any of the content I’m producing. I’m sure having this mindset won’t help me with some partnerships, but that’s okay. I have to be picky right now in my life. Once both girls are in school, things will change and I will be able to focus at least 4 hours a day on it. I absolutely love it but I also have to be mindful.
Q: Will you guys create a playlist to share?
A: ABSOLUTELY. In the works via Spotify!
Q: Where are your glasses from?
A: I don’t spend a lot of money on eyewear because I know the chances of me losing them is off the charts… ha! The glasses I’ve been wearing for the last year are THESE and they cost me $30 total with the rx!
Q: What’s the hat you’ve been wearing this summer?
**I wasn’t able to answer everything but I am going to start doing this monthly, because so many of you ask the same questions it is so much easier to compile here! Do you like this format? Let me know! xo